How did that happen?

I will be the first to tell you that where I am today is NOT where I saw myself being many years ago. It's funny how everything is happy go lucky one minute, and then the next it's like WTF?! That's pretty much what happened to me.

I have been married twice. My daughters dad, well he is the BEST baby daddy in the world. I always call him my baby daddy so it doesn't bother him at all. We get along great and honestly I couldn't have asked for a better father for my daughter. We were young when we got married. I met him when I was in the Navy, we were bestfriends, and it went from there. But I will be the first to admit. I was too young to be married. We divorced, it wasn't easy in the beginning, but I really enjoy raising my daughter with him (she's 16 right now). Talk about an awesome kid. She went from 8th grade straight into an early college here in my town. She is in her 2 year there. Way smarter then I was at her age. Hell I hated school, but I knew better then to bring home a bad grade. So I sucked it up and managed to graduate! She's 6' tall and here I am a dinky 5'8 having to look up to her. I love her. I'm proud of her. But she IS  a typical teen. Between facebook, texting, skyping, and a messy room... it's a miracle that I'm not bald by now!

Then I have my 2 boys. They are 7, and 9. I absolutely adore them. I was married to their dad as well. We were together for 11 years. And lets just say... I am HAPPILY divorced!!!!!! There are a few things that took place in that relationship that I never saw coming, but since they did all I can really say is thank you Lord for allowing me to pick up the pieces and move one WITH my children!!!! It wasn't an easy road to travel. There were a ton of bumps along the way, sometimes there still is, but it's ok. I'm always going to be the bigger person. One thing I have learned from this last relationship, is that I am not the same person that I used to be, and thank God "it's" someone elses problem! They will eventually see! Those who cheat with you WILL cheat on you!!! That's fact. I mean you can't make that shit up!

My 9 year old son is pretty shy, it takes him awhile to warm up to new people, but until he does he hides behind me (literally). He is a lover of sports, so he has to stay active! I have to say he loves his momma!! My youngest which is 7 well he can go into a room of 100 people and walk out knowing at least 99 of them. Always the center of attention. Very out spoken. Doesn't really care too much about what people think of him. He is his own little person. Honestly he got that from me. He is also ADHD. He was diagnosed almost 2 years ago. I have joined all kinds of support groups, and talked to parents that experience the same thing as I am right now. It's all a learning process, for both me and him. I wouldn't change his personality to save my life.

As far as me, well throughout my BS divorce and the uncalled for drama that followed it, I gained 40 lbs. Yes 40. I am an emotional eater. For 7-8 years I was a personal trainer and an aerobics instructor. And I was just always fit, and proud of my body. But life has a way of slapping you dead in the face without warning, and it did to me. And I ate my worries away, just to become stressed out because I became what I called a fat ass! I mean really I went from a size 6 to a 14/15. That's not big to some people but you have to take into account where I used to be. I rememeber wanting to be a body builder (Like China). I ended up with a body like Angea Bassett in "what's love got to do with it" and I was smoking hot. Now I am a smoking hot mess LOL!

I started my weightloss journey on February 4, 2013, and as of this morning, I am down 15lbs. I have 15 more to go, but after that 15, I will shoot for 10 more to satisfy the 40lb gain that caught up with me inthe last year! Wish that I could sue Ben and Jerry's for that, but damn they are just so stinkin' good!!!! 

Until this day, I am not sure what happened to those 11 years of my life. I know what happened to my first relationship, but not the 2nd. But in all honesty the tears have stopped, the pain has gone away, I simply just don't care because I have 3 happy kids, that tell me every single day that they love me. Even when I don't buy them a toy that they want, or  a rockin' new pair of shoes that my daughter wants. I have learned to make a dollar out of 15cents. And I am happier now then I have been in years!!!

Single parenting can have it's challenging moments, especially when the "adults" involved are not on the same page when it comes to raising their child/children. But what is most important to me is raising my 3 children to be respectful young people. I refuse to sit around and feel sorry for myself, and fall into some deep depression. That's not gonna happen. why? Because my children need me, and I can't be helpful to them if I am some dumb ass funk! They will always see me smile, they know when I am serious, they know that homework is important, they are made to read everyday, AND they have to tell me what they have read about. I'm involved in school functions, and meetings, and a den leader for the scouts. I make it happen. And in all of that, I have still managed to work on my fitness journey, and be the best damn mom that I can possibly be, and still have a smile on my face. Hell I've earned it!

And if you ask how did I get here... I couldn't even begin to tell you! But I'm here!